I don’t know how to feel about this.
“Aun is acting like his papa’s boy again.” One of them shouted, I did not turn my head to know that the voice belongs to Fat Rong. I was being mocked again, for being the good kid. I was only trying to return the football to one of the girls in my class. Perhaps they’re just jealous.
“Aun likes Yaree!” Fat Rong continued. I almost wanted to shove a feesh down his throat. I glared at him.
Perhaps Yaree heard Fat Rong, she gazed towards our direction, and I quickly looked away, towards the direction of the mountains.
I couldn’t possibly like Yaree Swazarkyi, mama told me that I’m not that age yet. I don’t know what she meant, but I know I shouldn’t be looking at girls my age, that is against the teachings of God of Skai, I can be punished for this.
“Stop playing such a joke! It’s not funny!” I crossed my arms in front of him, hoping this time he really got the message that I am angry.
“Why are you trying to deny the truth? Everyone can see that you like Yaree.” Fat Rong mocked, and quickly dashed away before I got the chance to hit his head with a slipper.
I grabbed my bag and started packing my school things. Everything was handmade by my father. My pencil case, water tumbler, jacket, books, and shoes. I wished I could be as lucky as other kids in my school, oh how they owned many branded things that could cost an arm and a leg, and all I do was gawk at their possessions and wished I was born in their family.
Nobody take our family seriously because we are poor. Your status is obvious from the way you dress, the way you speak, and the way you carry yourself. My mother is a hardworking labourer who works in the Pompoyaka plant, she upholds her religion more than anything else. She reminded me constantly that earthly possessions rich Joryitasians own are nonpermanent, and that we earned more points by being poor, so when we die and go to heaven to meet the God of Skai, we will outrun all the rich Joryitasians who are trying to meet Him too. I’d believe her, but when I asked her “where is the God of Skai?” she couldn’t really answer me. She looked at father and he placed his right palm on my chest firmly and said, “The God of Skai stays here, you’re occupying it now, we can only see Him when we die, when there’s nothing left in this shell.”
I’m living in a shell. Everything I see and own now is nonpermanent.
“If the poor Joryitasians can meet the God of Skai after they die, where does the rich Joryitasians go then?” My question did not come much of a surprise, perhaps mother and father had anticipated it.
“Well,” mother started, then she gave father that glance again, “they will go to a place of eternal darkness, no one can ever find them there, they will be lost forever.” Father said.
“What’s that place called?”
“It’s called The Unreachable.”
I thought of Yaree Swazarkyi. She will go to The Unreachable because her family is very rich. Her mother, Terra Swazarkyi is the president of Pompoyaka II City, her future was determined the day she was born, she will be inheriting her mother’s place. The line of succession to the president seat of Pompoyaka II City had always been from the Swazarkyi family. They had always remained on the top, the richest among the richest. Will they all go to The Unreachable when they die, I wonder?
I walked the quiet street that leads to the corner to our small cottage. I looked up to the tree with the sign ‘Village Pompoyaka’ hanging from a single metal chain from one of the branches, the tree does not have any leaves left, it looked displeasing to my eye all of a sudden, like a haunted tree, a haunted village. I stormed my way and turned the corner to my cottage, a simple wooden shack. There was anger boiling inside of me, I didn’t know why.
“Come and help me with dinner.” Father was wiping his sweat off the sleeves of his white shirt. I turned my gaze and stared at his shirt which was slowing turning yellow with age, fully stitched with patches and patches of different shades of white, it angered me.
“You should get new clothes, father.” I said. Father turned and looked at me, he was nonchalant about what I said about his shirt, “come and help me.” He repeated, the weight in his voice heavier. I hurried over to his direction.
I squatted down beside him, rolled up my sleeves and started helping him wash the feeshes, twelve of them. The smell of the feeshes was reeking, I gagged at the foul smell. Father stopped what he was doing and looked at me. I pretended like nothing happened and continued washing the feeshes clean from its own blood, the water turned a dirty brown, the air smelled like rust.
“How was school today?” Father did not turn his gaze from my face.
“Fine. Everything’s good.” I didn’t look him in the eye, I pretended that the feeshes were a trouble to clean. Now I felt guilty for being angry, at nothing.
“If that’s what you say.” Father finally went back to doing what he was doing earlier, “If you find it hard to share it with me, go tell it to the God of Skai.” Father took out the insides of the feeshes and threw it in the broth boiling beside us.
Mother warned me that anger is the work of bad spirits loitering around us. It will start off with angry feelings, then gradually turn into actions, and actions taken when we are angry will always be of wrong impulses, which must be tamed. We shouldn’t let it take control of us. At times like this, we should seek God of Skai for refuge.
I got up, wiped my wet hands on my school trousers, and started towards the direction that leads to Poonduk. My sweat was trickling down my cheek, it burned my eyes and tasted like feeshes after father had dried it in the sun. The path to Poonduk is a long distance from home, but we always go there once every circle of five days. Not many Joryitasians from village of Pompoyaka go to Poonduk, they think that worshipping God of Skai can be done from their own homes, and that coming to Poonduk is a waste of time and energy. Father always reminded me of the importance of going to Poonduk regardless of how tired and lazy I am feeling. It seems like Poonduk has a special power in store for us that our own cottage do not have.
The sun burnt my cheek, arms and legs. I started picking up my speed as Poonduk will just be two corners away. I ran past rows and rows of berry trees that stood by the muddy road, occasionally stopping to catch my breath and to regain my composure. The berries that dropped from the trees were too deliciously mouth-watering to ignore. I was quarter of a day late to Poonduk.
Poonduk is a small shelter built singlehandedly by the followers of God of Skai with what’s left of their savings. The followers of God of Skai were usually poor Joryitasians, because they strongly believe that there’s better life that awaits them after death. Mother and Father had always used them as a model as to how we should live our life. Sometimes I’d like to think that they are just using God of Skai as a way to escape the reality that we are poor. It’s a simple way out to explain why we are poor, and always will be poor.
Then the questions follow, what if God of Skai never truly existed? What if God of Skai was only an imagination created by people to escape reality, which happened to spread throughout Joryitas and became something famous that many Joryitasians know today? If it was real, everyone in Joryitas would have been the follower of God of Skai now.
As I struggled with my own thoughts, I kicked off my slippers and entered Poonduk. A shadow kneeling on the ground in Poonduk caught me by surprise. She was none other than Yaree Swazarkyi.
