Talking about SPM results, it wasn’t great. For everyone, it’s something important for you to get scholarships and enter a good college, that’s it. Another latent function of SPM is, how the society looks at you.
Before getting my SPM results, everyone were really excited about it, anxious and nervous. But at that spot, I haven’t really felt the nerve-wrecking feeling yet.
During the test, i know how to answer the questions, i write down all the answers as many as possible and with all my might. While my add math, there were of course, a few blanks because no matter how hard i crack my head, there were none.
And so when the results came out, i would never expect myself to get B+ for all 3 science subjects, which are chemistry, physics and biology. It was tad disappointing. I kept telling myself, “hey, maybe it’s just a mark or two and you’re on the A- list.” But MAYBE never happened, it never came. Maybe i just need a time machine, but i just mentioned, there’s no MAYBE.
But something hit me. I have a B for add math; What is this miracle?
After i’ve gotten my results. There were countless feelings i’m encountering at that spot. Tears? No. Anger? No. Happy? Of course not. It was my parents that came into my mind. My mom, she was the most anxious one to know my result. She called me, and texted me whether I’ve gotten my result, or not. And yes, the first one i thought of: My mom.
My hand, holding my phone, and i texted her. I typed “Got my results, call me.” And she did.
I thought i was calm, i thought i wouldn’t feel a thing. At least that’s what i told my friends, SPM? CHILL LAH. Of course that wasn’t the case. Once i heard my mother’s voice on the other side of the phone, my tears, feelings, and emotions started flowing. It’s a weird thing i must say, my mom’s voice is the only thing that can trigger my tears and emotions.
Beside all the students, scholars, and full As students, i said to my mom “Hey mom, my result didn’t came out good.”
And she asked ”So, how was it?”
I said, trying my best at that time to control my tears “4As……um, *gasp* *control control* And… *counting my fingers* 6Bs.”
And she's like “Which subject belongs to As?”
By that time i already felt like fainting. I wanted to cry. If you ask me, what’s the hardest thing to control in your life? TEARS, i would say.
“I’ll text you. Bye.” I hung up her phone. And started typing on the keys of my Nokia phone.
“BM B+
BI A+
MORAL A-
SEJ A+
MATH A
ADD MATH B
PHYSIC B+
CHEMISTRY B+
BIOLOGY B+
MANDARIN B”
And she sent me back something which makes me want to cry even more.
“Congratulations! It wasn’t that bad!”
“I’m sorry for disappointing you and daddy.”
“It’s okay! We didn’t expect much from you anyway, you tried your best, that’s all we asked for.”
“What did dad say about this?”
“Dad too thinks that this is as far as you can fly, you don’t have to worry, you’re not the worse in the family anyway. :) “
And i was basically wiping tears at this stage of time. My parents, even though i have such terrible results, said IT’S OKAY. I felt so guilty. And my friend wrap her arms around me and i kept raising my head so that the tears will flow back in, but that never worked. I wipe, and i wipe, and i wipe. And i kept grunting. “Ughhhh, those stupid tears.” I even said jokes to make myself laugh. How pathetic.
My poor friends didn’t know what to do with teary me, but i didn’t want them to do anything.
My best friend called “How was it?”
I said “I thought i sent you my result?” *trying best to hold my tears*
She said “No, i meant your feelings.”
I said “Now is not the.. time, u know.”
And she understood, so i hung up her call.
When a person is at the edge of crying out loud, JUST STAND THERE and BE BY THEIR SIDE. NO COMFORT WORDS, NO “I’m so sorry for you” stuff. NO, NOTHING! Those are the stuff that trigger tears.
And we left the scene as quickly as possible before i start exploding. Reading mom’s messages just makes me want to cry.
So we went for some gathering lunch. And then we chatted and chatted and took a lot of photos.
There, i opened my wechat and at “home sweet home” chat box, my brothers were eager to know my result. My 3rd brother was hoping i could get full As, cause then i’ll get full waiver for my university. My mom posted my results up and says “She tried her best already. Give her a hug.”
My 3rd brother cheered me up and say “English A+, i also A only, Damn that’s some fine english.” Which make me laughed.
While my 2nd brother says “Pro is math and add math.”
My big brother says “Congratulations! No need too much A la, hardworking will do :) “
And there were non-stop of cheering and funny emoticons going on.
And when i mentioned about the 1119, which i got an A1 for, my 2nd brother says “Good thing you becoming the next jk rowling.” LAUGHED DIE ME.
3rd bro “You good in speaking any moh, sister.”
2nd bro “Jolly Good.”
I just gotta thank them for making my bad day into an awesome day.
That i forgot about my results and that how sad i was, temporarily. We watched peabody and shear man in the cinema. And i went home, feeling so much better, i slept until my parents came back.
When you think that you have a bad result, there are people who are even worse than you. Sometimes it is better to cry and be sad with friends around you, than to feel sad and miserable all by yourself. Friends make you laugh, make you forget. But being alone just kept reminding yourself of how badly you’ve done and how careless you are. You blame yourself, but actually that’s not the end of the world. You still have years of tests and examinations, you still have more obstacles to overcome. Look forward, embrace the challenges that life has prepared for you. After all, YOU ONY LIVE ONCE, YOLO.
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